My life is full of those people I was on the road to becoming great friends with, yet somewhere along the line things stopped. This seemingly steady progression was put on hold because we have no more classes together, or I run out of clever opening lines whenever I see them, or I assume they don't recognize me or something. So every time I see them and try to half-hazardly interact with them I not only feel like a complete fool, but I also feel like that perpetually cold person who never really wanted to be friends in the first place. The second part is definitely false in this situation. What I resort to is a collection of facebook friends, or people I follow on twitter. Obviously, I know who they are and I even sometimes feel like we have inside jokes, even though we don't- I just read their blog so I feel like I know something personal. Then when I am thrown into a group of people who are all talking and the both of us happen to be there- I try to akwardly mend things by making eye contact in hopes that they say something or indirectly confirm our almost friendship, and then I can confidently lead things on the warm sunny path to real friendship. However, usually the interaction is brief and I don't see a bright sunny path to walk down, and it's probably because I thought that they didn't recognize me and so in order to preserve my own pride- I just pretended not to see them. That's only half as bad as reminding someone of your name 7 times in a row. How do I even mend this habit of "almost friendships"?
I am realizing more and more that I am really odd.
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