Thursday, May 13, 2010
Suzanne Bracewell
I would always reach for the highest basket: it was small, woven and brown. Avoiding the bumblebees and mosquitos we would plunge our fingertips into the deep, thorny bushes to fill our baskets with rapsberries. Fingers and lips stained red from the juice, stomaches full of fresh berries, we would sit on her porch and drink the tea she set out in the sun, next to the sundial that told us it was the afternoon. Lazily we would swing on the bench or the hammock, until sun down and we would go inside, pick one honeysuckle before dinner, and eat. She had a room full of dolls she handmade, I would go sit in and admire. Closets full of beautiful gowns she used to wear, and a large box full of ornate jewelry I would pin to myself. Her hair was always elegantly dark and mysterious, and her tall, statuesque demure made her elegant until the end. She would tell us silly rhymes that make no sense, but we would laugh and laugh to no end. She would paint small things, like pots or plates- and ooh and ahh at every stroke I attempted to create. She would read all of my stories with enthusiasm and taught me how to spell the word "friend". She made the best pot roast you would ever taste, and she used horseraddish on it- I hate horseraddish. In the spring we would walk down to the nearest pond and catch tadpoles, I imagined it would turn into a frog. They never did, she said they died, but I think she just returned them to their pond in secret. When I would ride the school bus to her house, she would perfectly time when to bring out freshly baked chocolate chip cookies, and always kept vitamin D milk on hand (like Mom never would). She used to have a collection of Alaskan art, and a huge bear skin hung on the wall that my Gramps shot when he was younger. While he spent his afternoons making us dollhouses, or swords, she took us to play at the park- we would climb on the large tractor tires or up the rocky hill where we would sneak into rock caves and tell stories. When I would ask, she would rub my feet- she was the only person who would happily rub the feet of those she loved. She had extensive family photo albums where I could look at my Aunt and Mom for hours, imagining what they were like when they were young like me. When I was 14, she gave me her mother's golden locket with a note she typed on her computer (because she was technologically savvy) and my mom gave it to me when I was 21. She had this old poem hung on her wall about all the extravagant things she would do when she grew old...such as wear a large purple hat. I used to try to let her know she already was old. She used to laugh. When I lived in Australia, she would email me weekly to tell me things about her dog, her book club, or just things. On Christmas eve, we would go to her house to open gifts under the tree she kept in her bay window. Then we would sit by her fire place and crack open the nuts she set out seasonally. When she fell ill my mom knew right away, before she did. The hospice workers told me to write her a goodbye note. So I did. I never gave it to her on time. I think she knows I love her anyway.
Monday, May 3, 2010
sissy boys and tom boys.
Curious, isn't it, the troubles that arise from Gender assumptions? Male, female; masucline, feminine; gay, straight; manly, girly; strong, emotional; aggressive, nurturing.....you get the idea. Where did these roles come from? Obviously, there are usually physiological cues to help us determine our gender, but where do these sort of assigned attributes come from? And how many people do we know that really fit them? What does the Bible say?
I think any girl (and guy for that matter) can attest to the fact that the John Wayne type of guy is an endangered species leaving room for the stay at home dads and metro-sexuals. I'm not degrading this, sometimes a circumstance will warrant a man to take on more "feminine" roles. Conversely, sometimes circumstance will make mama the bread bearer or leader. Sure, God assigns biblical ROLES to genders on occasion. He calls for wives to be helpers, and husbands to be leaders. Beyond that, this notion that men ought to be stoic, aggressive and non-emotional while women ought to be vulnerable, irrational and nurturing came from us. In my studies I have never found a case in the bible where a woman is instructed not to be strong or authoratative or for a man to refrain from sadness or lack nurturing qualites. In fact, where did we begin to see men and women as OPPOSITES? God doesn't see us that way....
God very clearly states that he created both man and woman in his image. Well, God isn't just a being full of contradictions and opposing qualities is he? So why should we be? God encompasses "masculine" and "feminine" traits....for from him all these traits have derived. Perhaps we each showcase individual attributes of GOD not of boy or girl.
A lot of Christians tend to hold to the fact that men ought to be stoic and assertive, while women passive and submissive. Woman should be a meek, weak vessel who speaks only when spoken to, never makes the first move, and lives in the kitchen and nursery. Opposingly, man ought to never flinch at pain, shed an emotional tear or lack the ability to make the right decision at all times. Wow, that's a lot of dissappointment for people that don't work that way. Let's look at Proverbs 31:10, the passage specifically about a Godly wife. God explicitly claims her great value, as well as her strength, assertion, business mind, and dignity:
A wife of noble character who can find?
She is worth far more than rubies.
11 Her husband has full confidence in her
and lacks nothing of value.
12 She brings him good, not harm,
all the days of her life.
13 She selects wool and flax
and works with eager hands.
14 She is like the merchant ships,
bringing her food from afar.
15 She gets up while it is still dark;
she provides food for her family
and portions for her servant girls.
16 She considers a field and buys it;
out of her earnings she plants a vineyard.
17 She sets about her work vigorously;
her arms are strong for her tasks.
18 She sees that her trading is profitable,
and her lamp does not go out at night.
19 In her hand she holds the distaff
and grasps the spindle with her fingers.
20 She opens her arms to the poor
and extends her hands to the needy.
21 When it snows, she has no fear for her household;
for all of them are clothed in scarlet.
22 She makes coverings for her bed;
she is clothed in fine linen and purple.
23 Her husband is respected at the city gate,
where he takes his seat among the elders of the land.
24 She makes linen garments and sells them,
and supplies the merchants with sashes.
25 She is clothed with strength and dignity;
she can laugh at the days to come.
26 She speaks with wisdom,
and faithful instruction is on her tongue.
27 She watches over the affairs of her household
and does not eat the bread of idleness.
28 Her children arise and call her blessed;
her husband also, and he praises her:
29 "Many women do noble things,
but you surpass them all."
30 Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting;
but a woman who fears the LORD is to be praised.
31 Give her the reward she has earned,
and let her works bring her praise at the city gate.
Now tell me how it's not biblical that a woman be strong, dignified, and even a fine business mind. She's providing the food, she's obtaining lack of fear, she's also being loving and nurturing as we think she ought to be. she clearly hosts what society would classify as both "masculine" and "feminine" traits.
Conversely, we see that man should never be sad or cry or show fear or weakness. This is equally un-supported in Biblical text. Look at the example Jesus our Lord set- he WEPT (meaning cried) at the death of his friend Lazarus even though he knew he could raise him. He was so afrain before his crucifixion, he sweat blood. Jesus also displayed strength and assertion many times, such as in the temple courtyards when he over turned the tables. God laments over man many times, and is wrathful as well, and therefore posseses "masculine" and "feminine" qualities.
Now, I know not everyone views man or woman as having to ascribe to certain attributes- but a lot of people in the last 100 or so years do. How exactly this originated I can't say- but I can deny that it's true.
I think any girl (and guy for that matter) can attest to the fact that the John Wayne type of guy is an endangered species leaving room for the stay at home dads and metro-sexuals. I'm not degrading this, sometimes a circumstance will warrant a man to take on more "feminine" roles. Conversely, sometimes circumstance will make mama the bread bearer or leader. Sure, God assigns biblical ROLES to genders on occasion. He calls for wives to be helpers, and husbands to be leaders. Beyond that, this notion that men ought to be stoic, aggressive and non-emotional while women ought to be vulnerable, irrational and nurturing came from us. In my studies I have never found a case in the bible where a woman is instructed not to be strong or authoratative or for a man to refrain from sadness or lack nurturing qualites. In fact, where did we begin to see men and women as OPPOSITES? God doesn't see us that way....
God very clearly states that he created both man and woman in his image. Well, God isn't just a being full of contradictions and opposing qualities is he? So why should we be? God encompasses "masculine" and "feminine" traits....for from him all these traits have derived. Perhaps we each showcase individual attributes of GOD not of boy or girl.
A lot of Christians tend to hold to the fact that men ought to be stoic and assertive, while women passive and submissive. Woman should be a meek, weak vessel who speaks only when spoken to, never makes the first move, and lives in the kitchen and nursery. Opposingly, man ought to never flinch at pain, shed an emotional tear or lack the ability to make the right decision at all times. Wow, that's a lot of dissappointment for people that don't work that way. Let's look at Proverbs 31:10, the passage specifically about a Godly wife. God explicitly claims her great value, as well as her strength, assertion, business mind, and dignity:
A wife of noble character who can find?
She is worth far more than rubies.
11 Her husband has full confidence in her
and lacks nothing of value.
12 She brings him good, not harm,
all the days of her life.
13 She selects wool and flax
and works with eager hands.
14 She is like the merchant ships,
bringing her food from afar.
15 She gets up while it is still dark;
she provides food for her family
and portions for her servant girls.
16 She considers a field and buys it;
out of her earnings she plants a vineyard.
17 She sets about her work vigorously;
her arms are strong for her tasks.
18 She sees that her trading is profitable,
and her lamp does not go out at night.
19 In her hand she holds the distaff
and grasps the spindle with her fingers.
20 She opens her arms to the poor
and extends her hands to the needy.
21 When it snows, she has no fear for her household;
for all of them are clothed in scarlet.
22 She makes coverings for her bed;
she is clothed in fine linen and purple.
23 Her husband is respected at the city gate,
where he takes his seat among the elders of the land.
24 She makes linen garments and sells them,
and supplies the merchants with sashes.
25 She is clothed with strength and dignity;
she can laugh at the days to come.
26 She speaks with wisdom,
and faithful instruction is on her tongue.
27 She watches over the affairs of her household
and does not eat the bread of idleness.
28 Her children arise and call her blessed;
her husband also, and he praises her:
29 "Many women do noble things,
but you surpass them all."
30 Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting;
but a woman who fears the LORD is to be praised.
31 Give her the reward she has earned,
and let her works bring her praise at the city gate.
Now tell me how it's not biblical that a woman be strong, dignified, and even a fine business mind. She's providing the food, she's obtaining lack of fear, she's also being loving and nurturing as we think she ought to be. she clearly hosts what society would classify as both "masculine" and "feminine" traits.
Conversely, we see that man should never be sad or cry or show fear or weakness. This is equally un-supported in Biblical text. Look at the example Jesus our Lord set- he WEPT (meaning cried) at the death of his friend Lazarus even though he knew he could raise him. He was so afrain before his crucifixion, he sweat blood. Jesus also displayed strength and assertion many times, such as in the temple courtyards when he over turned the tables. God laments over man many times, and is wrathful as well, and therefore posseses "masculine" and "feminine" qualities.
Now, I know not everyone views man or woman as having to ascribe to certain attributes- but a lot of people in the last 100 or so years do. How exactly this originated I can't say- but I can deny that it's true.
oh ye of little faith
Here's the scene: a damsel, dangling from a rope with little to no strength left is towering above a city. She is waiting for help of any form to save her from splattering on the ground and is about to give up hope when...oh surprize: the superhero miraculously flies in and whisps her off to safety before brutally beating the nemesis who put her there. Sweet, awesome....real life never works that way. We often find our selves at the end of a rope and all we end up with is a broken ankle and rope burn....because we're danginling off the side of a one story house (nothing sexy like a 100 story building) and we usually walk ourselves inside to put some ice on our wound that hurts way worse than anyone gives us credit for, and sorely sit on the couch and eat a bag of cheetos as we lament our decisions. Yeah...life....you're grand sometimes. Whoever gave me the idea of climbing onto the roof of my house anyway? Oh yeah, that was me. I put myself there, now I have to explain to everyone why I'm walking with a limp and have bandaged hands.....maybe I'll whip out a story about saving a bus full of orphans about to crash into a freezing river? None the less, my point is we often find ourselves lost and disappointed at the fact that no one is there to rescue us, we usually have to rescue ourselves...and we usually suck at it.
Maybe we need to look deeper. Let's take this totally crazy story and see how it could POSSIBLY relate to our boring, mundane lives:
We all know the story of Moses right? He's an orphaned baby found by an Egyptian princess, adopted into royalty then on the run for murder? He sees a burning bush, hears from God to save his Israelite people from Egyptian oppression and ulitmately leads them through a Sea, to a desert where they eat heavenly manna. Yeah cool, life doesn't work like that either right? Our version of a burning bush is a text message our friend sends us and our version of eating heavenly manna is driving through Taco Bell on the way home. Cool....why am I posting this totally irrelevent story? Well, since you asked, because it's actually relevant...and here's why....
"The Prince of Egypt" won't tell you this....but when Moses led the Israelites out of Egypt and into the promised land via the parted Red Sea....it didn't happen instantly like we think. It wasn't: "Oh no the Egyptians are coming! Good thing this huge ocean is opening up so we can run through it....why did we worry in the first place?" Actually, it took all night. God's Holy Spirit presented himself as a pillar of fire that protected the Israelites in a night-long battle with the Egyptians before the red sea parted. AKA....if I were them I would have felt screwed, not saved.
I find God does that often....he waits.....and waits.....and waits until we are at our wits end before he saves us. Why? Because he is a sadistic freak who wants to see us squirm like an ant under a magnifying glass? I dare say no. I think it's because he want's appreciation. Think about it.....if your grandma gives you 20 bucks on your birthday, but you make several grand a month....you say: "oh cool, thanks grandma....that really makes no difference in my life right now...guess I'll buy a happy meal." But if that 20 bucks comes mid-college career when you live off top ramen and have -5 dollars in your bank account....that 20 bucks looks like a lump of gold and you appreciate grandma more than ever. If God didn't allow us to succumb to atleast a little bit of trial, we wouldn't appreciate him ever. We would merely expect him to just remedy things immediately and serve us on cue. However, if God allowed us to truly see what we could be victim to, then we would appreciate his saving us.
Don't get me wrong, I would probably be convinced God was awesome if the sea parted immediately, or the next day- but God clearly wanted to test the faith of the Israelites and prove that he's there at the very last moment....so we kind of are like the dangling damsel with no hope left. It's never very romantic if the super hero saves her when she trips now is it?
Maybe we need to look deeper. Let's take this totally crazy story and see how it could POSSIBLY relate to our boring, mundane lives:
We all know the story of Moses right? He's an orphaned baby found by an Egyptian princess, adopted into royalty then on the run for murder? He sees a burning bush, hears from God to save his Israelite people from Egyptian oppression and ulitmately leads them through a Sea, to a desert where they eat heavenly manna. Yeah cool, life doesn't work like that either right? Our version of a burning bush is a text message our friend sends us and our version of eating heavenly manna is driving through Taco Bell on the way home. Cool....why am I posting this totally irrelevent story? Well, since you asked, because it's actually relevant...and here's why....
"The Prince of Egypt" won't tell you this....but when Moses led the Israelites out of Egypt and into the promised land via the parted Red Sea....it didn't happen instantly like we think. It wasn't: "Oh no the Egyptians are coming! Good thing this huge ocean is opening up so we can run through it....why did we worry in the first place?" Actually, it took all night. God's Holy Spirit presented himself as a pillar of fire that protected the Israelites in a night-long battle with the Egyptians before the red sea parted. AKA....if I were them I would have felt screwed, not saved.
I find God does that often....he waits.....and waits.....and waits until we are at our wits end before he saves us. Why? Because he is a sadistic freak who wants to see us squirm like an ant under a magnifying glass? I dare say no. I think it's because he want's appreciation. Think about it.....if your grandma gives you 20 bucks on your birthday, but you make several grand a month....you say: "oh cool, thanks grandma....that really makes no difference in my life right now...guess I'll buy a happy meal." But if that 20 bucks comes mid-college career when you live off top ramen and have -5 dollars in your bank account....that 20 bucks looks like a lump of gold and you appreciate grandma more than ever. If God didn't allow us to succumb to atleast a little bit of trial, we wouldn't appreciate him ever. We would merely expect him to just remedy things immediately and serve us on cue. However, if God allowed us to truly see what we could be victim to, then we would appreciate his saving us.
Don't get me wrong, I would probably be convinced God was awesome if the sea parted immediately, or the next day- but God clearly wanted to test the faith of the Israelites and prove that he's there at the very last moment....so we kind of are like the dangling damsel with no hope left. It's never very romantic if the super hero saves her when she trips now is it?
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